20 British-isms I will never understand

My time in London is drawing to a close, and yet after my third time and 10 weeks in the U.K. there are some things I just can’t wrap my head around.

  1. Mates
    This is an inappropriate thing to call your friends.
  2. “You aight mate?”
  3. “Take a right at Chesterton and go up to Waterford Gate and then head left on South Queen’s Duchess. I live in Winslowington”
    I’m sorry you just said a bunch of words, it would help me if you threw a Buena Vista in there somewhere.
  4. Toilet, WC, loo
    Which is it??
  5. The VAT
  6. The NHS
    Not sure how to feel about this socialism.
  7. “You aight mate?”
    Yes I’m fine thank you.
  8. “Here’s how to know if he fancies you”
    This is such a strange term, also what am I looking at
  9. The monarchy
    You pay taxes for this.
  10. “Keep Calm and ___.”
    You can’t say this for everything, and plus you have to do it the American way which is Panic Always.
  11. “Soorry”
    Saying this when you shove me on purpose doesn’t make it ok!
  12. Tea
    Oh I understand this perfectly.
  13. Lads
    Yes, you’re not bros. You’re definitely lads.
  14. “Cheers”
    This just doesn’t strike me as polite.
  15. Toasties, pasties, and other -ies
    Stop calling them these cutesy things.
  16. “You aight mate?”
  17. That weird intonation people make when they ask a question
    Don’t get it, but love it.
  18. Cheeky Nando’s
    This is great, change nothing.
  19. Lorry
    I never heard this but it still is the most ridiculous way to refer to a truck.
  20. Brexit
    ’nuff said.
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